Porn

To the bitches that go 'Omg ew porn gross omg wtf as if i watch that' YOU ACTUAL LYING BASTARDS..or perhaps you really are stuck up prudes. Go on redtube mate, and have abit of fun. IT IS NATURAL. I have had many discussions with guys and when I say i watch porn they are instantly like 'Omg you are fucking cool, most girls say they don't' and they seem to respect you abit more for it haha and think your fun..I said it to who I was on the phone to last night..I can't remember how we got on the topic and he said 'Well fuck...that turned me on' AHAHAHA good times...Okay I guess I'll move on from this topic before yous think Im a sick dirty bastard..

well truth is I am. GTF.

I am sensationally happy today. I'm just lying in bed, blogging away. But I'm all happy and stuff. I'm not even listening to music and I only have one cigarette left. BUT I'M HAPPY MATE. I'm not letting any shit get me down whatsoever, I don't care how fucked up things get, I am determined to stay happy as a bitch on speed.

Wow, my mind instantly turned to drugs. They still fascinate me but I always border from being a complete druggie to not liking them atall. I go from one extreme to the other, even with my moods. I remember the days spent hiding bags and coming up with plans incase anyone caught us. I remember being ecstatically happy and hugging people, telling them I loved them. I remember planning random adventures and even going on random adventures. I remember getting late lifts home with people wiped off my face, the music practically making me orgasm, rolling into my house and not stopping dancing for an hour. I remember the last ep of skins and going so close to the tv with my eyes wide as fuck, completely spaced. It was intense. I remember racking a line on the floor of a toilet on my phone. I remember taking keys outside a club and people near enough seeing me doing it. I remember bits of my nose coming out, bits of sticky red bloody skin. I remember the aching feeling all over. I remember the horrible cumdowms where I'd want to die. I remember sitting for a full day hating my life and not knowing what to do with myself. I remember my sore lips and aching jaws. I remember too much of that shit, I like them memories, good or bad.......I don't want any more memories though. That's final. So you keep your bags of coke or meph or whatever the fuck you like to sniff and you sniff it and you say its great and you do what you gotta do and you make your life out to be great as much as you want to people...but no mate, you can't lie to me. I know the confusing thoughts that go through your head, I know how your mind changes constantly. I just know.