Friday, 3 September 2010

Circle The Drain

How strange, this songs about being in love with someone addicted to drugs..
I like it. Wonder who it's about for her...Travis I guess


This is the last time you say,
After the last line you break,
It's not even a holiday,
Nothing to celebrate.
You give a hundred reasons why,
And you say you're really gonna try.
If I had a nickel for everytime,
I'd overbank.

Thought that I was the exception,
I could have rewrite your addiction,
You could've been the greatest,
But you'd rather get wasted.

You fall asleep during foreplay,
'Cause the pills you take, are more your forte.
I'm not sticking around to watch you go down.
Wanna be your lover, not your fucking' mother.
Can't be your saviour, I don't have the power.
I'm not gonna stay and watch you circle the drain,
Watch you circle the drain,
Watch you circle the drain.

You say you have to write your rhymes,
Whatever helps you sleep at night
You've become what you despise,
A stereotype
You think you're so rock and roll,
But you're really just a joke.
Had the world in the palm of your hands,
But you fucking choked
Should've been my team mate,
Could've changed your fate,
You say that you love me,
You won't remember in the morning.

You fall asleep during foreplay,
'Cause the pills you take, are more your forte.
I'm not sticking around to watch you go down.
Wanna be your lover, not your fucking mother.
Can't be your saviour, I don't have the power.
I'm not gonna stay and watch you circle the drain,
Watch you circle the drain,
Watch you circle the drain.

You fall asleep during foreplay,
'Cause the pills you take, are more your forte.
I'm not sticking around to watch you go down.
Wanna be your lover, not your fucking mother.
Can't be your saviour, I don't have the power.
I'm not gonna stay and watch you circle the drain,
Watch you circle the drain,
Watch you circle the drain.
Watch you circle the drain,
Watch you circle the drain.
You fall asleep during foreplay,
'Cause the pills you take, are more your forte.
I'm not sticking around to watch you go down.

Thursday, 2 September 2010

hum de dum

considering taking a wee gap year, gettin' a job and learning how to drive. sounds like the right idea for me :)

got my injection today, it was only on my hip, thank god. I kept thinking it was going to be right down on my bum LOL wasn't too painful, im pretty good with injections anyway thankfully.

went into asda after with my mum and got loads of pasta :D and INGLORIOUS BASTERDS, for only £5, finally completed my Quentin Tarantino collection *dances* I LOVE HIM.

I'm getting way too into blogging again. LIFE IS GOOD ATM :)

I WANT THIS NOW
























I'm obsessed with the colour pink. Specially sparkly, glittery pink things. It's not my favourite colour though

I have still not seen Scott Pilgrim yet..

My Name Is Alice..

fuck yous















































































I LOVE MY ROOM, SPECIALLY MY BED.



















why is my bedroom so sexy. why is my bed so fucking sexy.
why do i look so shit? aha

i dont think i have enough

i have too many clothes, but i want more. I really really want more. I am so obsessed with fashion just I don't talk about it. I constantly look up stuff about it, try on clothes and have about 50 million fashion magazines stacked in my room. I just can't get enough of it.

I would do anything to be a famous fashion model living in Paris right now. how beautiful would that be?

On a less brighter note, i am so confused on which hair colours I want. It's driving me absolutely insane. I love the pink but I need to do more with it. I think I might bleach it so that it goes a very pale pale pink and ill put pale pink hair dye over the top of it aswell so it'll all be even.
Looking at pictures of Katy Perry's dark hair is so so tempting. Then I go and look at Audrey Kitching again and get confused. I don't think there will ever be a moment in my life where I will be ecstatically happy with my hair colour..well it never lasts for over a week anyway.

I want to start reading more again.
Also I think its about time I listened to that Echo and the bunnymen cd my ex bought me for christmas.

Wednesday, 1 September 2010

1.20

1.21 now in the morning
and im chillin',
with some chips and a bottle of magners
and watching family guy season 5.

all is well.

oh ho ho

I havn't really talked about my acid trip atall last week. Then again why should I, id just get judged. nyahaaaa. na im not gonna atm.

anywaaaay, im staring at my hello kitty pillow. OH YES I HAVE A HELLO KITTY PILLOW.
im pretty bored, i was meant to go to bed early because I was tired but then i got distracted talking to people, skyping with chris and laughing at old pictures with holly.

I'm contemplating watching family guy. Also loving Ultimate Big Brother. I stopped watching big brother bout a year or 2 ago. I found the people were becoming more boring and i lost interest. Ultimate big brother though (y) ITS GREAT. well I think it is. Brian dowling makes me laugh alot.

I need to stop spending money, I want my fucking hamster. Chris dosn't think I'll be able to look after it, well fuck you and your million animals in your room. 'should I get a snake or a baby turtle?' 'snake' 'ill get the turtle then..awk but the wee turtle?' 'get the turtle then' 'but yenoe you hold a snake and look cool as fuck' 'whatever you hold, you will not look cool as fuck, just gay' 'nah, thats only when i hold you'

have to say, touche. I laughed when he said that back. I've been laughing all night, especially at the pics. Oh i think I'm in a good mood, oh yes, i think I am :)

girls

don't you girls ever get sick of being called a slut or a whore at some point or another in your life? I don't get where guys get the right to say that just because you kiss alot of guys or have had sex with a few. Even having sex with alot of guys wouldn't make you a whore. I wouldn't know, I havn't honestly had sex with alot of people. I'd say to be a whore you'd have to just be desperate and sleep with anyone and dress all slutty.

so many girls get called whore's and sluts these days just for going with afew guys. And it's always guys who say it, yet their the ones always thinking about sex and going with anything with a pulse. Why do they get away with it? I was thinking about it and i'm pretty sick of it considering I havn't went out with many ppl, i went out with someone for 2 years who i'm getting back with. Yes, i've had problems with him, how would that make me a whore tho..or a slut? I've had a few bad drunken encounters with guys..about 3 times at the most. Nothing I'm proud of or look back fondly on..or even would I have done sober, hell no! But my god, isn't this generation meant to talk about sex freely and explore all that sexual bullshit?

i spose that's how it goes though and always has. Throughout time women have been frowned upon no matter what, guess every girl has to deal with being called names they know their definatly not.

their is sucha lack of respect i guess.
though ive realised not too many people care about my feelings anyway.

not one for the dramatics

im sick of people assuming im doing shit against them or that im trying to make things all about me. I barely ever start fights with people or ever try and make them feel like shit or pick out THEIR flaws. I never want to judge, i dont see the point. I can't be fucked with drama or my feelings anymore. I'm pretty chilled, HONESTLY. All anyone annoyings doing is just that, ANNOYING me. If something dosn't go to plan or someone starts some shit, I actually can't be arsed. Not trying to make anything about me but I've been through alot lately, and I don't really talk about it, I most pretend everything is A Okay. And most of the time it is, until i listen to everyone else's shit and i get brought down and complained at. I should really, after what I've went through, be focusing more on myself. So fuck that, I want to live my own life.

I'm too easily forgiving. note to self: stop that.

I'm doneee and im happy.

Tuesday, 31 August 2010

Monday, 30 August 2010

formspring

formspring.me/kittypurryyy

i disabled my account for a while there simply because i got tired of arguing with anonymous people over my own fucking life and what i can and can't do or what i should or shouldn't do. Normally I'm happy enough arguing with twats, but its the fact it was a blog reader who gurned at me because i wrote which contraceptive method i used, and actually called me immature when they were sitting going 'you kill babies LULZ' loveeeely.

well anyway, i'm just not going to accept anymore mean questions, i just cant be assed to be completely honest. ask me something interesting and it will get posted. I barely check it anymore anyway but it would be nice :)

week


















































































































































































LOL.

Ryan Mckeating you complete me, if only i were straight
my friend wrote that on a picture of me on facebook. I LOVE HIM. HOW SWEET WAS THAT?! <3

lack of blogging.

scratch all the negativity. everything is okay. i get too pissed off easily sometimes, well more i take offense too easily SOMETIMES. not gonna lie but the past week has been mentaaal, starting with an acid trip and ending with DAVID GUETTA. I have either been tripping or steamin' all week long and have to say I loved it. Despite the fact i went from being immensely happy to immensely sad, glad tho i had afew cries, i feel alot better. One drawback is I didnt get into my course in tech and need to change courses, thats the only thing I'm panicy about, if i get into a course or not. I really really want to be doing something this year. I will cry if I have to sit and do nothing or just have a job or something.

my love life is a tad complicated, i gave up on it but then i decided just to be more laid back about it and not get as melted if I don't get my own way all the time. I'm single tho so its all good anyways. not too bothered there.

Soulwax, 2manydj's and Major Lazer, Fake blood and David Guetta were all AMAZING.

thats all i can be bothered writing for now. I'm slightly hungover and very bruised.

Tuesday, 24 August 2010

happyhappy

im overall pretty happy. im keeping myself busy, im getting tech sorted out, gonna look for a job soon, have concerts this week, seeing my friends more and more, getting a hamster and today im going to take acid for the first time.

i was surrounded by alot of people on acid yesterday and ive ALWAYS wanted to take it. todays my day. i found all these sites ages ago which had like full stories of peoples experiences on it from their point of view. It all sounds so spiritual and amazing and apparently music is mental on it. I'm pretty excited for it :)

im pretty excited though about which way my life is going. I cba dealing with my love life anymore, I seem to try more than him, its apparent. I can honestly say i stopped caring after i said 'im not waiting anymore', and this time for once...i decided for myself, not like i got fucked to the side or anything. feeling pretty happy about that aswell. my minds been taken off it anyway because of how busy ive been.

also, i changed my formspring so that anonymous people can't send me anything. I got abused by a 'blog reader' because I posted about contraception and my choice of contraception. It went further into a debate until they decided to say 'little girl' and slag me for my apparent 'indie kid from skins' attitude..oh right? lmao, and then that went even further until they said i liked to kill babies.

i realised..why am i wasting my time with anonymous people who show me absolute no respect for no reason after ive been through alot of shit. I realised i deserve none of it. so im cutting myself off from everything potentially negative. guess thats why i gave up on my love life for the first time :)

wish me luck i guess.

no make-up whatsoever, hello kitty sweets :)

Sunday, 22 August 2010

im not angry

decided im not angry. just going to not wait around, doing what i wanna do now. focusing more. ive forgiven and gotten over everything properly now. now their wont be anything more that can effect me, im done :)

giving up

yea thats what im going to do. maybe not giving up in a sense but moving on. my lifes been too messy for too long. I dont like being treated badly. I myself know i deserve better than that.

im just tired

ive just realised, not alot of people are ever that nice to me. alot of people question, belittle, blame and be plain cheeky/rude to...over nothing. hmm

dunno who reads this.

Havn't sent this blog to alot of people. I said on this I use this to write whatever the fuck i want and it started off private as private, for myself (it still is for myself). I posted my formspring on this so anyone could ask me questions and someone actually left 'was there a need for you to post what kind of contraceptive you use, and when you took it on your blog'

yea, because for a start this is my blog and contraception kind of relates to the most personal intense shit ive wrote about on this. So if i wanna talk about it, I'm going to. This blog is not for ANYONE but myself and if your going to leave me stupid shit like that, make your own blog and gurn about it there.

i cant believe i wrote that because right now im high as fuck and want chocolate cake so so bad.
going to go watch I <3 huckabee's while im still like this because i know its going to confuse the absolute fuck out of me.

im actually laughing at what i wrote up there after i read it over, lmao, oh no i told internet blog readers im on the pill and i took it. sorry lmao next time ill say i just took a headache tablet so you don't get TOO disgusted :)

Wednesday, 18 August 2010

little known facts about me

I'm bored and felt a blog like this coming on.

I have exactly 7 my little ponies. 5 of which have names 'Princess Sidekick' 'Dizzle' 'Captain Daryl' 'Spike' and 'Glitters'
Most of my usernames for facebook, twitter, formspring etc. are called kittypurryyy, kitty purry is the name of katy perry's cat :)
I love animals so much. Right now i'd love a hamster, rabbit or a puppy again.
I had a dog named Charlie, he got ran over when he was 2 :(
If i were to get a bunny, id call it pancakes which is what Summer from the OC called her bunny in the show.
I have 2 cats, one called Acid, one called Tabs ;)
I am obsessed with pink hair, Audrey Kitching made that obsession undeniably worse. I feel happiest when my hair is pink :)
I dye my hair depending on my moods I think. I dye my hair an awful lot.
I do not have one favourite film, these are my favourites 'True Romance' 'The Fifth Element' 'Donnie Darko' 'Hellboy' and 'Factory Girl'
I was/am obsessed with Leeloo from the fifth element. Because of that I have a following obsession with Mila Jovovich who is well known for playing Alice in the Resident Evil movies.
I also love LOVE Resident Evil. I have the 'Extinction' Poster in my room.
I have alot of posters including a massive Sex Pistols Canvas, along with that there is Green Day, Harry Potter, Resident Evil, Sid Vicious, Pulp Fiction, Red hot chilli peppers, Wolverine, Lady Gaga and MEGAN FOX.
I am in love with all things Quentin Tarantino, He wrote True Romance so in a way I'd say thats my favourite movie of his.
The 2 people I am incredibly in love with is Robert Downey Jr. and MEGAN FOX. Jennifers body<3
I also really love love love Leornardo Dicaprio.
I really like Alice in wonderland, dosn't everyone these days though..
I've seen beyonce, pink, CSS, Gwen Stefani, Mindless Self Indulgence, My Chemical Romance, Hadouken!, two door cinema club, 2 Many Dj's, Boyz Noize and Deadmau5 live <3
My Favourite band is the pixies.
closely followed by System of a down.
I have an intense love for Motley Crue.
I am VERY into grunge music. I love abit of everything, particularly beats haha but I can;t get enough of music like the pixies, nirvana, sonic youth etc.
I love Edie Sedgewick and Sid Vicious. They are my ultimate Idols.
I LOVE Katy perry. Contrary to popular belief I do not think I am/look like her and nor am I TRYING to be her. I just like using the name kitty purry (which is her cat..ive said this) I think it's cute. Also, I get told I look like her WHEN I have black hair. Not my problem.
I swear abit too much.
I have been in a 2 year relationship.
I've only ever been in love once, despite thinking I was in love once, I realised I never was until I properly fell in love. The person I thought I loved when i was 14 LOL I have no feelings for whatsoever now. funny thaaat.
I love skins, most teenagers do. However, I prefer Misfits.
Robert Sheehan who plays Nathan MAKES the show, though I do love the other characters.
I have worked on a movie WITH Robert Sheehan. It's called Killing Bono. I was in a gig scene and he was right infront of me O.o
I want to be either an actress, model, photographer or writer.
My Favourite colours are lilac, blue and pink. ALSO certain greens. I'd say lilac wins overall.
I have a lilac Blackberry :)
I have too many clothes, I'm not even saying that to sound cool or anything but I honestly do, I need to throw half of them out. My mothers too good to me.
I've been bullied 3 times in my life.
Theirs only ONE person i truly hate, I wouldnt even say hate, properly TRULY dislike.
I'm a smoker.
I used to do mephedrone, crystal meth, herbal coke..etc. for around 5/6 months. Aswell as e's, weed and dope. During that time I didn't really drink that much.
I've near died while drinking, I've been sick off drink plenty of times, but one time I drank a whole massive bottle of vodka and passed out and was still thoriwng up and retching and I can't remember any of it.
I was sniffing meph 2 days before I found out I was pregnant.
I think women should have a choice for abortions and not just keep it for the sake of keeping a child. Pregnancy is a hard thing to go through, you need to think about YOUR life and It's.
I do want to have kids when I'm older.
I used to love to drink Absinthe. It is the strongest drink I have ever had.
I first time I played the game of kings, I threw up everywhere.
I lost my virginity when i was 15. I'm not too worried if that was too much information for you haha.
I like sex.
I am on the pill now. I advise alot of girls to atleast be on something. DO NOT RELY ON CONDOMS OR THE PULL OUT METHOD ALONE.
I have an incredibly short temper these days. However I am a rather optimistic laid back person who tries not to care about the small stuff.
Most of my BEST friends are boys. I have 2 amazing girl BEST friends.
I am 18 in 5 months. January 26th to be exact.
I love comic books, Hellboy is my favourite.
I havebeen watching Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Angel since I was 6. I have every episode of both shows on tape and know basically everything about both shows.
I currently have Pink hair.
I fucking LOVE disneyland so fucking much. I have been 3 times and my fucking god, I need to go back. IT'S SO MAGICAL.
I wish i could speak french. I know very little of it :(
I love blogging.
I love staying in other boys houses, whereas I prefer girls to stay at mine. I don't know why that is.
I fucking hate the hype over things like Twilight, Justin Beiber, High school musical and Miley Cyrus.
I HATE TWILIGHT SO MUCH YOU HAVE NO IDEA. i could list of the bad points all fucking day about the books and the movies. THEY HAVE RUINED VAMPIRES. I know this as I watched Buffy all my life and watched movies like blade, lost boys, interview with a vampire...FUCKERS. i get so angry thinking about Twilight.
I am OBSESSED with Harry Potter. SHOCKINGLY i was obsessed with Robert Pattinson when he played Cedric Diggory. HE'S RUINED HIMSELF. HIM AND HIS SHIT ACTING.
anyway yes, Harry Potter is a godsent. I've read all the books atleast 3 or 4 times each. maybe more.
My favourite characters are Luna Lovegood, Draco Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange <3
I used to be called Emo/goth all the fucking time cuz I'm naturally pale with naturally dark hair. rock on.
I daydream alot. My attention span can be very short sadly.
I love reading books. I don't think I read enough.
I don't really regret anything in my life because then I wouldn't be where I am now. I've done stupid things and made mistakes yes but i wouldn't take them back or I never would have learned anything.
I'm straight. I have gay friends who are both boys and girls. I love them
Im not against gay people atall.
I've kissed girls, Im not bisexual though.
Id fancy celebrity girls though such as MEGAN FOX mmmm
I love compliments and flattery. Some people hate it, I love it. Guess it due to the fact I've been bullied many times.
I used to never be able to talk to boys or people really in general and be really shy. Im the complete opposite now. Im incredibly forward and confident. I prefer it this way if im honest.
I am a complete movie geek.
I LOVE THE RAIN. ITS RAINING NOW.
I love fashion so much.
I hate people who think there better than other people and are incredibly arrogant.
I am attracted to funny weird guys. aswell as guys who can be abit bad, are ballsy and quite confident. Oh and talk loads and can be sweet at times. Guys who can argue back with me.
I'm not attracted to shy awkward guys and guys who can't talk or arn't funny.
I don't really go for looks alone atall.
I have dated alot of skateboarders.
I generally hate girls and give off a bad vibe to them. They all annoy me unless i talk to them and i like them. If they run past me and are all giggly and generally melt me...i will probably have a face on me -.-
My favourite food is spaghetti bolognese.
I have an amazing memory. I can remember every single lyric to every song on my ipod. I can also remember so many memories that most people can't. I remember the names to alot ALOT of actors and actresses and I can remember stories really well and the names of all the buffy episodes.
Its probably why I done really good in History, I got a B in my GCSE for History.
I am absolutely dreadful at maths. I don't even try atall.
I love Video Games. I love LOVE LOVEEE The Legend of Zelda. Link is so bitchin'.
I've completed Resistance with my friend last summer, I'm also really good at Call Of Duty once I get the hang of the controller haha. I really love war games.
I'm such a guy sometimes
I am 17.
I am an aquarius
I am clean of drugs atm.
I need a smoke.

Monday, 16 August 2010

pink stains

im always hungry. im guessing its this contraceptive pill. i wont be on it for too much longer, gonna get the jab.

im absolutely terrified that i don't get my period and i end up pregnant again this year.
i've been searching loads of websites on the pill and they all make me feel better. they said its more likely to get pregnant using just condoms than it is using just the pill. there almost 100% you wont get pregnant on the pill if you dont miss a day. I havnt missed a day. I dont ever want to miss a day.

i dont think its possible to get pregnant while being on the pill and using condoms. And it seems pretty fucking unlikely you'd get pregnant just using the pill itself.

I just don't want to be pregnant. I'm paranoid. slightly, only slightly

itchin'

I wish i wasn't so god damn addicted to hair dye. my hairs like a my little ponyyyy. actually fuck that i love hair dye. its so magical. however, i am itching slightly.

Everything seems to be going good. Fuck that word seems, everything IS going good. I'm staying positive, well more just staying mellow and not stressing over TOO stupid of things. My tempers awful though, i fly off the handle at everything these days and i seem to be developing more and more irratible pet hates. I think I'll manage though. Everything is coming together nicely, im surprised. Very surprised. Yenoe what that means though, everythings gonna go shitttt!

ach well im learning not to care too much. its just life. its how it goeees. how it rollssss

cant stop taking fucking pics.

i really can't help it. im so obsessed with this pink hair...like seriously..its just..so beautiful to me.



3rd time lucky

goodbye red, hello pink.
this is the 3rd time dying it pink. lucky, eyyy ;) well anyway yea its turned out pretty shite AHA. its a lovely colour but i ran out of dye and loads of patches are orangey yellow and a few random black roots which will be gettin' bleached soon! Holly's cut my fringe though and fuck me, FUCK ME, it is good. too good. I havn't had my fringe cut since...January. Holy fuck, it needed it. I'm gonna put white underneath my fringe, hopefully it turns out goooood.

anyway heres a pic of what its like so far.



Sunday, 15 August 2010

addicted

you have no idea how good these games are..
http://games.adultswim.com/robot-unicorn-attack-twitchy-online-game.html
theres unicorn attack ^^^ you are guarantee'd to laugh at the song they play in the background. It's so like...80's or somethin' :)




Since decent people read this..

www.formspring.me/kittypurryyy
i usually get people trying to annoy me. like the latest one for example which i know is complete balls. why do people waste there time...

Friday, 13 August 2010

Argumentitive AS fuck.

Wednesday was really niceee. I'm not one for listing off every exact detail of what i did or who was there but I'll tell you bout Wednesday and Thursday.

Had a really nice day with Gemma chillin' about town until Nina's party in Chiquito's in Victoria Square. Me and Gemma were the first ones there at 7 so we just sat and smoked and shit ourselves because we were skint and the food was all mexican. BUT we actually got really nice foooood. mm. OH Molly was there :) She came back from New York, she wasn't happy with me though and my love situation, but she loves me so she couldn't stay mad at me for too long.

After I was at Alans and alot alot of people were there. But I was busy arguing on the phone with Chris (most stupid argument ever), trying to charge my phone at the same time, mixing up alot of drinks in a bottle from the drinks cupboard and tryna scrounge change and cigarettes. It was pretty hectic trying to do all this at once but I managed. I didn't even drink the drink i mixed up. JD, Wkd and baileys i think? not nice anyway mate.

ANYWAY i eventually stopped arguing and got a fucking taxi. I had such an angry face on me when i was in his house though. But everything was sweet in the end and I ended up having a nice night anyway despite the fact that we manage to be so sweet and lovely and cute then next second we are the most angry people ever. We are both way too argumentative for our own good. Those arguements always end up with really retarded 'sorrys' or alot of laughter. DAMNITT

I don't know what I'm doing today. blah blaaah bored

Wednesday, 11 August 2010

If I told you things i've did before.

I can't stop singing 'young folks', its properly stuck in my head, and it's the easiest song to ever sing.

I really love certain peoples blogs, they are so interesting and deep and tell me alot about them in a non-up themselves fashion. Some blogs though, really fuck me off. I guess their not the kinda shit I want to hear. Not my style. Something like that...not that I'm going to name drop who's I love or who's I hate...doubt you'd even know them, or maybe I'm just lying incase YOU, whoever you are reading, gets paranoid because you have a blog. Why would you care anyway though? exactly.


My brother's so lucky. He's 5. He dosn't have to do anything except be a complete asshole of a child at times and get away with it. He gets to look forward to things like Santa and playing in school playgrounds and being slightly scared of Halloween...and actually wanting to spend time with my mum and dad on long road trips. NOT that i would go back to being a child. My lifes been overall pretty sweet.

Incase your one of them seriously nosy people who want to know every exact detail of my day or what I'm doing, I'VE ONLY WOKE UP AND AM LYING IN BED. Though I can tell you about my day ahead..not that I'm psychic or anything. Well exactly 2 secs ago I took the pill (not the morning after pill you divs, the contraceptive pill) I love dry swallowing them, mm. In about exactly an hour I will be washed, cleaned, groomed, dressed and sparkling to go see Gem in town. Hopefully Beth is coming in and we can shop about and stuff like that until the time comes to go to Victoria Square, Chiquito's to be exact, for Nina's brithday dinner. Theeeen I'm going back to Ballyclare to find Chris and also buy Ryan cigarettes as he's gurning at me too, and so far I treat him like a brother..at times. So maybe I should refuse buying him cigarettes. NAOO, i'll be cool.

That's really all I have to say at the minute.

Tuesday, 10 August 2010

Hits from the bong.

'I smoke a fat pound of grass, and fall down on my ass faster than the fat bitch who sat down too fast'

I had an urge to blog about GANJAAAAA. ooo the marijuanaaaa. Maybe it's because i've been drawing bongs out of nowhere or listening to afroman or the fact I know I'm going to get high off my face tomorrow. DO NOT mistake this as a blog bragging about drugs or some shit. Most of the time I'm offered weed/dope I always say no. I can never be assed. Honestly, it pisses me off getting high half the time because then you do nothing and things start going weird and slow and you feel pinned to the ground..

really what I'm saying is...yenoe those moods you get into..where you just want to get rediculously high and laugh at everything? Just like when people are all 'LETS GET DRUNK THIS WEEKEND LEDSSS' aye that, cept you get munchies and not a shitty ass hangover.

Anyway, last week when i was i'd say..ABIT stoned from smoking half a spliff and 3 baby buckets, i rolled up onto a ball on chris's floor and tried to stand on my head. I didn't really think I was high until after...I don't know why i had the urge to do that.


hmm, someones making a blog right nowww, and that someone could be yooou ;) in all serious though, i know someone making a blog right now.

oh dear.

I started this blog like..just for myself. And more and more people seem to be reading it...so yea, towards the start of it, if you ever get there, if you can be assed. Theirs alot of intense shit on abortions and stuff like that, I've decided I'm not keeping that private so If you can't deal with it then fuck off. I don't like being judged about that sort of shit.

On a lighter note I am surrounded by my camera, pencil, sketchbooks, cigarettes, lighter, cough medicine, shoes, gloves, headbands, dresses, pillowss...all engulfing me on my bed.

I NEED TO TIDY UP.

Gemma Clarke

I'm pretty happy with how this turned out of Gemma :) I forgot to add in a penguin though :( LOL









EXCITED ABOUT DRAWING.

I showed my mum that pic of Chris i drew down there and she loved it. I was all 'I had to add in a stupid fucking bong...' and she didn't even say anything she was just like 'The bong looks good aswell' LOL ROCK ON MUM.

I've decided im going to draw more pictures of some of my friends and ones of me and my friends together, stuff like that. And if they want them I may give them to them. Shannieee, I know your probably going to be reading this at some point, and I think ill draw a pic of you as you share my love of art and it might brighten up your day :)

MUCH LOVEEEEEEE <3

Stress balls

I NEED ONE.
i severe stress myself out over fuck all. I hate people who are so unorganised and I organise fuckin everrrrything with everyone, callin' them and all that shit. ITS STRESSFUL WORK. Especially when your on the phone to someone and your like 'Awk so do you wanna do somethin' this week hmm hmm?' and there all 'IM SKATING ALL THE TIME BUT YEA SURE'...'okay when then?' and then they joke and are all 'IM FREE SOMETIME IN OCTOBER FOR LIKE HALF AN HOUR' 'oh your funny but serious?' 'danno just go with the flow'

WELL I REFUSE TO GO WITH THE FLOW AND BE TOLD I AM OVER ORGANISING. HOW HARD IS IT TO PICK A DAY.


its all sorted now anyway haha. MY ORGANISATIONAL SKILLS ALWAYS PULL THROUGH MATEEEE.

Sunday, 8 August 2010

Ramona Flowers

I'm excited to see Scott Pilgrim vs. the world. Too excited. According to Holly, I remind her of Ramona Flowers in it because she changes her hair all the time from pink and blue. Mary Elizabeth Winstead plays her, I love her in Deathproof by Quentin Tarantino.

Heres some pics of her and my old blue and pink hair. I MISS IT. I might go dark blue or lilac or violet or something methinks?





Slytherin




My undying love for Harry Potter lives on.

OMG.

I am UNBELIEVABLY proud of this drawing! I planned to draw someone today because I'm pretty good at drawing people and it dosnt take me that long either, around 10-15 mins maybe? And their quite detailed. ONLY people though really, anything else takes me a hell of a lot longer, you wouldnt think that atall because people are generally quite hard to draw? I guess I'm a lucky one.

Anyway so I asked Chris what I should draw. He said him with a bong lmao. Well I don't have any pics of him with a bong atall so I said I would try. So I chose that pic below I took of him when he just woke up like..i dunno over a year ago? And I made up a bong in my head and drew it in along with some smoke. It shocked me because the bong and smoke go quite well with the pic I chose. I dunno, I'm just REALLY fucking proud of it beyond belief HHAHA. I'll probs give it to him if he likes it. First proper good drawing I've done of people in over a year. MAGICAL.



Drawing.

I just drew the most amazing picture, I'll post sometime later maybe. I havn't drawn in a long long time and I can;t find my sketchbook filled with all the really good drawings from last year :(

I tried to make my desktop look like a mac desktop. I don't really like mac's because their quite difficult to use and I don't know where to go on them but I like the style with the wee icons at the bottom.

I'm going to have a bath when it's darker and light candles and shit because it always looks spooky and cool like that. I've only done it once though, ages ago. I have an urge to put my laptop beside the bath and blog and take a pic of me leaning out (without seeing anything obv) and being like EYYYY BUBBLES AND STUFF ;)

I'll leave you with this <3
reminds me of Alice in Wonderland mixed with Resident Evil and a shitload of machine guns.

=^.^=

Right now I've decided I'm just chilling out about everything until the time comes to sort things outtt. I really love old photographs though, aren't they fucking great?!?!

Old Photo's

some of these I havn't dared to look at in so long...or dared to even post. I'm over that now. Old photo's are wonderful. I remember how I felt in every one of them.

hold on..hes biting my face? I FORGOT ALL BOUT THAT. Also mehehehe im ginger.





I have to keep posting or I may die.

As i glance across my room and look at my Megan Fox poster I wonder to myself...should I go for a smoke?

I met some pretty interesting people yesterday. Talked to Ryan Madden and Shannie Linden for the first time. They are both wonderfully cool and Shannie is just...too cute and fashionable, its amazing. I LOVE MEETING NEW PEOPLE. Especially ones who are so nice and easy to get along with :) It brightens my day :D

Heres some more old photo's. I LOVE OLD PHOTO'S.




:o

these are some pretty fucking old photo's from over a year ago (below)
I'm abit baffled as what I should write here..some of these photo's were during an immensely difficult time. Although me and chris were still together...I wouldn't go back their atall. Where me and him are now is probably better. ALOT BETTER. rebuilding is always better than going back. Don't ask me if it's going to work out or not and certainly do not tell me it's going to work out or not. Because ANYTHING can happen. I think I've realised that by now. YOU REALLY REALLY NEED TO WORK ON THINGS. Things can't just fall into place after such a long time. Things are always difficult. You have to rebuild relationships with people no matter how close or how 'in love' you were. Time and talking is everything the heart needs I guess to decide wether its worth it to work things out.

Though, for the first time, I'm contemplating giving up and don't think I can do it. I mentioned that below. But i guess these pictures spurred me on to go on about it. But I think thats my emotional bullshit done for now...

I don't care if you care or if you think I'm silly or stupid or wish i would shut up. I write things on here for me more than anyone.
I DEEPLY appreciate the support I have from certain people and the people I know who take the time to read what I have to say and try to understand :)

Have some love <3






I'm Angry

I'm not going to lie but right now I am extremely pissed off. I'm not going to be mean to people or anything but I have that feeling where your so fucking angry inside about loads of stuff and our trying to figure things out and find a way of letting it out. I guess I'll attempt to here without going into too much detail.

I'm definatly not going into too much detail on this subject. It's more of a private matter, I just want to write it down here safely without people getting in on it. I think i might give up, I don't think I can do it..you may or may not know what I'm talking about. Either way don't think too much into it, its for myself to read over more or less. I've went through far too much shit since before LAST summer that I didn't deserve, I honestly don't think I deserve alot of thing's that have happened to me...I am a good person, I try to be and really...my emotions are not a chew toy to some people. Not that anyone's actually done anything wrong here or played me around or been mean or insensitive or not tried or anything..I just kind of have been thinking and I'm so sure I can't do it and am going to leave it unless I can work out the problems very soon. It's the first time EVER I sat outside smoking and thought about it all and shook my head and said outloud 'No..I can't do it, I actually can't' I'm being entirely honest when I said that.

I've realised that everyone, no matter how awful they may seem, is going through some kind of shit. And I honestly try to see that and help so their not alone. But what's the point when some people are the type who keep their problems to themselves and don't wanna hear about yours. You never know whats going on there atall..and it makes you feel like a dick abit if they've upset you and you say something because your sick of going through shit and they say for the first time ever 'Look ive had a stressful few days' and hey, i bet they havn't or maybe they have but how can you tell and should you even care? Because they never helped with you? ISN'T THAT CONFUSING.


Alot of people have died recently, to put it bluntly. People have died by both horrible accidents or killing themselves. Alot of my friends have had to go to more than one funeral in the past week. It's not a nice thing to hear. Also theirs been alot of cases of bullying and even...a 12 year old got raped recently by 2 guys I actually SEEN at Gay Pride.
Seriously..
Is everyone really that fucked up. It scares me. It makes me breathe faster and screw up my face and get really angry but at the same time UNBELIEVABLY scared. It's unsettling to say the least. With all that and your own shitty problems you begin to wonder is their even a point in talking to people. You act happy, sad, angry, annoyed..etc. and where does it get you...to yet another stupid problem after another. And OH NO things can never really go okay because everyone has different feelings and some stupid shit will pop up that makes your heart skip abeat and everyone around you frown at you.

There never really is a right way to go about things. Were all just sort of winging it in life. Trying to make the best of it. But everyone around us effects our emotions and were all so uncontrollable and confused. And everyone gets annoyed if people don't do this or people don't do that or if they DO do something. It's all down to what everyone wants to do. I myself have learned I am always going to do what I WANT to do...wether or not I know myself it's for better or worse in the long run. Who really cares though...you only get one life, right? Well no one actually really knows. And we all want someone to care. We all want to be loved and needed. Theres nothing just quite like it, is there?


I suddenly wanted to talk more about bullying. I don't want to talk about how I have been bullied atall. I really don't. It was the most horrible time of my life EVER, well so far. If your being bullied or have been then you should know that it dosn't last forever. These are just people being complete assholes and will either regret it or are already going through some stupid shit in their life that they feel the need to beat down on you. RUMOURS spawn bullying I'd say, because then a majority of people will listen to bullshit and then have a grudge against you. But like, why? Everyones done something weird or bad or abit iffy...what is the need to judge unless it is criminally insane what they've done. I mean really, get over yourself. No ones perfect. People honestly need to stop judging and listening to lies and rumours and actually ACTING on what they've heard and being a complete dick and even getting in on it. Why would you even want to belittle someone into feeling horrible. What the fuck do you gain from it? Make yourself feel better then people will like you more? Wow, insecure much then? Their just people afterall. PEOPLE. PEOPLE. PEOPLE. PEOPLE. PEOPLE.

that is what is wrong with this fucked up world.

Saturday, 7 August 2010

Chillin'

I'm blogging from Alans house on Alans laptop. WOOOT. Him and Jonesy are discussing getting a dog and Jonesy said 'Aye you can ride it to the shops nal' LOLOL debating over dogs..mm indeed.

Had a nice wee day in town with everyone. CHLOE HUME <3 loud ass bitch <3
Also had an amusing fight with Chris on the bus, I just got pretty pissed off but it turned out to be quite funny by the end of it all...I am a melt. HAD TO BE DONE THOUGH.

thats all im gonna say for now, way for a smokeeee leds. BRB

Friday, 6 August 2010

Young Folks

that is a snazzy wee song


I'm blogging right beside Gemma...it's odd because someone is here. HOWEVER, i thought i'd let the world know that she FARTS ALOT. It's not even a laughing matter anymore...however I farted and burped at the same time. BUT NOT LIKE HER...HERS MAKE NOISE AND SHE LAUGHS..AND ITS SCARY. mine was accident and silent due to my coughing...its not funny Gemma STOP LAUGHING BESIDE ME.

Also, I'm going to give a wee mention to Shannie A.k.a ROSS MCDONALD :D I barely know you atall but talking to you randomly on msn or facebook makes me feel like i've known you for years. IT'S SO WEEEIRDDD. I like it, I like it alottt. Your so amusing and easy to talk to..and ofcourse..your wee teacup <3 I hope this makes you happy, i think you deserve it despite not knowing you well...YET.


Also..Gemma bit her tongue and is near crying. KARMA FOR FARTING EVERYWHERE BITCH. FUCK YOU.

On a brighter note I quite enjoyed tonight chillin with Gemma and her brother Ryan. I wrote wee but considering he's taller than me and hates me callin' him wee...i wont say that againnnn mate. Gemma's now looking through my box of lube and condoms and now my tongue bar's...OH YES I BOUGHT A PACKET OF CONDOMS TONIGHT CALLED 'SKYN' CLOSEST TO WEARING NOTHING AT ALL ;)

i think ill leave you with that ;)

Blogging.

I swear blogging keeps me sane. I'm quite happy I'm not writing too much emotional bullshit here, tryna keep it lighthearted so whoevers reading dosn't start weeping and getting the knife out and all...not that my life would ever be that bad that it would cause someone else to cause themselves harm. What am i actually on about?

I watched Shutter Island last night. I FUCKING LOVE LEONARDO DICAPRIO. well done man, well done. you fuck my head over in every movie and you do it with such a beautiful face....you sexy sexy man.

I really should be getting ready because Gemma's heading up now...Oh deary deary me.
lastly..I LOVE THE COLOUR LILAC. i felt the need to get that out there before i depart. tally ho.

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